Friday, 8 February 2013

oh my, corsets are heavenly

 Hi all you lovely folks out there,
    So I'm a little further along in my little quest to be someone i like better :P that's good right? you see i realised a while ago that growing up (or maybe a lack of growing up) has left me rather bland and Ive been trying to put that right for a month or so now and let me tell you its been an expensive process :P I'm rubbish at saving money lol.
   As i mentioned in my last post i am still definitely unsexed up which sucks but at least my best boy is a bit more interested in me which is a big plus.
   My first corset arrived on Wednesday, I'm super pleased with it,its just an under bust training corset but its AMAZING. Wearing a corset makes me feel so womanly and sexy, i just feel great (the way it hold you all in feels awesome BTW :P ) and you should see some of the looks Ive been getting lol...i guess it pushes everything up a little as well as making my waist look tiny. I'm wearing it 20 hrs a day and when i don't have it on i feel kinda naked now, its a fantastic thing for sure and already i look better. The whole romance of bathing, applying my lotions and then lacing myself into it is so exciting that i almost forgot i bought it initially as a bit of a surprise for Dave...i guess its been more of a surprise to me how much i enjoy wearing it. Its like a sexy secret under my clothes that only i know about ;)
  In other news i have to attend my next course on Monday :-0 wonder if  'guythatsnotmyboyfriend' got the message last time or if his no so subtle hints resurface :P only time can tell i guess but i am ready to explain just how thoroughly i love my best boy. I'm still looking forward to getting a little dolled up for dinner and a drink though lol.
           Bye and stay safe guys ;)  Xoxo

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

No sex? ever? eek.

Hi guys and girls. So its been a while.... I'm sorry, Ive been a little busy ;-) although that's not as tantalising as it sounds it seems this little blog is going to take a detour from the norm for me.
     Ive had an ego crushing blow, it turns out that as much as he loves me (and he 100% does, i don't doubt it)  my beloved boyfriend has decided he no longer fancies all. I'm too big for him he said, I'm a size eight still and although Ive put on a little comfort weight (i was a six when we met ) I'm still not over sized, or at least i didn't think i was. It all came out after a discussion about why we hadn't had sex for a few months, his choice not mine, it seems he just has a very specific taste and my love of rocky road has moved me out of the little range of size he finds attractive.
    My first thought if I'm honest was to find somebody who would enjoy how i looked and get a bit of what i wanted that way but i think that was mostly down to hurt. I'm simply not a cheat and never will be so i faced a dilemma, do i lose the little bit of softness i put on and win back his affection in the bedroom (hes a VERY talented lover lol) or do do what comes most naturally and tell him where to go? 
   I decided that i love him too much to lose him and that maybe i could try to sex things up a bit and leave behind Mr R. Road (as delicious as he is) i simply need my partner to want me. That's what hurt most, not the lack of sex but the rejection from somebody you care about so much. So I've been hitting the cardio and munching the veg and i do feel better. Thing aren't back on track yet though and I'm getting really distracted by the morning men in the gym with their big old backs and arms. :-o just how am i meant to concentrate ? 
    So in the mean time I've blown my wages on a killer new wardrobe, ultra feminine flirty dresses and some gorgeous new red heels, spent an extreme amount in boots on skin care and makeup (even false lashes....they are ACE) and I've ordered myself some really rather beautiful corsets, not so much for him but because its the one thing that will make me feel super womanly.
   I love the hour glass shape but have to admit in a corset virgin so am incredibly excited about this experience, I'm heading a little more towards the vintage and the glamour and i just cant wait for them to arrive.  All this is great but now to get down to the more irritating aspect of abstinence..... I'm damned well frustrated all the time :-(   how do i get around this? sometimes a little time alone in the bedroom simply is not enough. Ive considered buying a little something from  but am very green to all that... its a bit terrifying but looks like alot of fun, my user names  Damsonfires on there :P checkout my wish list and if your feeling magnificently generous maybe buy me something you'd think id like and I'll let you know how it goes  :-o i know that's naughty of me to ask but desperate times and all, afterall ive spent this whole months wages on makeup and clothes :-/
    Take care you beautiful creatures and wish me luck

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The strangest date of my life...

Hey friends, hope your all enjoying yourselves.
    I have been busy for the last few days :-O yes, busy! How exciting. I put myself forward for a course with my company with the goal of progressing my career a little; this is something I would never consider for several, meeting new people, getting dressed up like a normal person lol. Anyhow that's where I've been :-D in Bristol and yes it was a lot of fun. I'm glad that's another hurdle I’ve passed and I bet your all super proud of me right? AND I have to go back to Bristol for a few days each month right through to October yay.
   It was however quite surreal in that it was an incredibly romantic setting, 200 (ish) miles from home in the soft snow and twilight just me and my work friend who we shall call 'notmyboyfriendguy'. So we arrived at our hotel and checked into our separate rooms on different floors, got a bit fresher after all those car hours and decided to go try and find something to eat. I wore my snow boot (luckily as it was move) some jeans and a nice is stripy top, obviously it would have been weird to even think about trying hard for a quick bite to eat with a work buddy. We walked for about half an hour, enjoying the snow and sense of being somewhere other than home for a while and found a place to eat (again nothing too special just a pizza place). The food was nice and we both had a bottle of beer and chatted. After this we again braved the snow for a spot of window shopping and eventually got to a really cute little bar called Amoeba I think, it was all lit by candles and had such a cool vibe we chilled out there for a bit and enjoyed a few more beers. It was a prefect soft setting and if I were with my Best Beast (aka Dave my bf) I certainly would have snuggled up and spent the majority of my time with my lips against his stubbly neck lol however I kept reminding myself not to flirt. (I dont fancy notmyboyfriendguy at all, it was just a really romantic almost date). Luckily I have a will of steel and adore my bf so i behaved impeccably even if I suspect he might not have given the chance :-O
    The course was great and I surprised myself by making a few comments instead of keeping out of the way and praying nobody noticed me, I'm pleased guys....I might be making progress after all ;)  the next dilemma is what to wear to my next workshop in only two weeks eek. I got away with my boots this time but I can’t count on snow every time, I think it’s time to get down to business and grab a pair of sexy shoes, I reckon these will do ...
Image 1 of ALDO Poole Platform Court Shoes
ALDO Poole Platform Court Shoes ASOS.COM



Thursday, 17 January 2013

A little good, a little bad.

Hello everyone who may or may not read this. I was very pleased ( and surprised) that i got any page views for my last post, so thanks for reading to those of you that did.  I hope you have all had an interesting day, mine has been nice in a way and deeply frustrating in another.
    Firstly the frustration. Have you ever had one of those days where you continuously injure yourself? .... well i have about three a week, I'm the most accident prone person around, probably because i never really pay any attention to anything in doing but still... it makes me angry and sad. I had been in work for probably half an hour, forty Min's at the most and was trying to free a trapped spatula from the deep fat fryer (yes, i know that's a stupid thing to even attempt while the fryers hot)  so i managed to free the trapped serving tool and instead of a moment of triumph as payment for my valiant efforts i was rewarded with a wave of hot oil. Obviously i rushed to cool my arm under the cold tap, forgetting that at my place of work nothing is ever that simple, the cold water was soothing at first but quickly gave way to hot water, not so soothing.  I managed to get some burn wrap and after an hour or two of stinging/burny pain all was well. except my arm looks horrid. Team this with countless knocks from tables, catching my arm on all sorts of surfaces and a scratch from a strange cat i was annoyed.
    On to the niceness. I returned home to find that amazon had left me a gift. I LOVE presents, i truly am an over grown child i know but i really really like getting gifts, especially today as my best beast (aka Dave my boyfriend) had sent me an amazing cuddly elephant whose belly is full of lavender scented beans, after i stopped squealing and jumping up and down i text said beast and thanked him for thinking about me. I've named the elephant Von Claude.
    So now you know all about the roller coaster of emotions i have enjoyed today i had best fill you in about the progress of my ingenious plot to become better than i am at the moment, to take my life off hold and take a few risks but most importantly to take a little more pride in myself and move from 'overlookable' to 'cantlivewithoutable', again apologies for my general doucheyness but its just the way i am ; - ). In keeping with the spirit of all this i decided to get a little made up for work before i left the house this morning, nothing major just a little foundation, some blusher, a touch of eye shadow etc. It was great to be honest, i felt polished and like a slightly prettier version of myself. I thought to myself  'damn, this is easy i can do this every day, what have i been doing all these years coming to work without a little bit of makeup here and there'. I swear people were actually looking at me a bit differently and it really felt good,  that is until i realised that i infact looked a lot more like a panda and a lot less like a supermodel. I work in a kitchen and it gets very hot, i work hard and i guess my make up just cant keep pace. Lesson learnt, keep my ego in check and always carry a compact mirror.
   In the mean time does any one have any tips on staying picture perfect even under pressure?
Zoe T xoxo

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

A beginning (i hope)

Firstly...Hi to anybody who may have got terribly lost and finds themselves reading this strange little thing of mine. I'm nervous i have to admit, I've never really dared to put  the monotony of my brain into print before so please bear with me.
      I suppose i should start by telling you a bit about me? well I'm dreadfully dull, i work, eat, go to the gym (rather reluctantly I'll admit) and then i sleep. I'm 23 years old and short, reaching and incredible 5ft1 at a push. I'm not thin and I'm not fat. I have OK hair, nothing special and certainly nothing dire. Green eyes and a big nose, and one slightly mis-aglined tooth that's only really visible when i smile. I have a boyfriend who is ten years older than me, three cats and a snake, I live in a tiny one bedroom house that i love very much but the probably needs alot more love than i can give as its getting quite old now. I work full time at a job that i don't mind with people that i don't mind, so in a nutshell i find myself feeling very average in just about as many ways as you can be average. 
     So now you know a lot more about me its time to explain why i have suddenly decided to vocalise these semi-depressing thoughts, the reason being....i want something bigger. I'm bored with 'safe' and 'ok' and worst of all 'fine'. I don't want to be told i look fine, i want to be told i look amazing or stunning or even just lovely. I was in the gym this morning, bleary eyes, puffy faced with my hair a state and the most emarrasing pair of jogging bottoms in the world on trying to get stuck into a weights session (it was supposed to be cardio but i didnt have the nessecary dedicationfor 6am cardio), when this lovely pair of girls walked in. Both were around my age and very attractive, the sort of attractive that combines both natural beauty and a skilled hand at make-up and general grooming. My boyfriends head whipped round when he clocked them in the mirror then very guiltily he faced straight ahead and behaved in a very decent manner but his initial reaction got me thinking, I never inspire that reaction when i enter a room, i slink in and out with my head in the clouds not really paying much attention to anything.  So as aware as i am that some might think this to be a whim based purely in vanity i have decided to attempt the impossible and try to morph into one of 'those' girls. Its not that i want men drooling over me, i simply want that confidence and that degree of pride in how i look. Im trying some how to turn from a scruff monster (who still acts like shes's five mostly ofd the time) into a polished and confident woman. In all aspects, not just my look but my friends, my hobbies, my career, my luck in general....its time to take my life off hold.
       So this is the start of my quest for SOMETHING BIGGER, which I'm guessing is about as dickish as it sounds but I'm trying my best not to care so maybe you could try your best not to judge me too harshly?!. I thought it may be fun to keep a log of my exploits, not that i can promise they will be even mildly entertaining but maybe i will surprise us all. If you feel like checking in and seeing whats going on with me, possibly even to give yourself a little bit of a boost ;-) then feel free.

 I hope this doesn't go terribly wrong....

Zoe T xoxo